The Spy Next Door

As I was staying with my grandma and I had nothing better to do I decided to watch and review "The Spy Next Door" with Júlíus.
The Spy Next Door is basically a Jackie Chan comedy.
It's about an ex spy Bob Ho (Jackie Chan) as he is trying to get to know the three children of his girlfriend Gillian (Amber Valetta) but after he gets some secret file sent to him by a fellow agent (Billy Ray Cyrus) Russian spies (MagnúsScheving and co.) are after him and he has to keep the children safe as he tries to solve their evil plan.
The only mistake it makes is being a "child-friendly" Jackie Chan comedy.
I like Jackie Chan, that is not the matter. He is pretty badass and knowing he does his own stunts only makes him more so, and he can pull off comedy but the fun of many of his other comedy films such as the Rush hour movie is that it certainly isn't a child-friendly one and thereas not afraid to kill off characters.
One joke in particular, where Magnús Scheving's character, Antosha is getting kinda annoyed that no one can find him a fitting outfitfor his position so he asks to get a typical American outfit. One of his men then promtly comes in with a cowboy costume and he fires his gun three times at him. I actually burst out laughing until I realized he had only shot at the clothes. If the movie wasn't so child oriented this joke could've been super funny but sadly it was ruined by the fact that it was for children. Sorry Jackie, but you should stay away from children's films. We want some fatalitly godammit!! Oh, and while I am talking about Magnús Scheving.... what is up with his accent?  I mean, I love that guy, he's very famous in Iceland and he's Sportacus for fuck's sakes but he just can't shake off the goddarn Icelandic accent. I am Icelandic but I still can't stand it. I mean, he's  cool ,he can fight and do all kinds of stunts but he still can't do a Russian accent?
Then there's the kids. Where do I start? Well, the thirteen year old is acting like a sixteen year old. I really think her part was grossly miscast. They really should've gone for an older girl for it. And falling for a college guy? she's 13 and he's probably about 18.... it would've worked better if she was sixteen or at least fifteen. Her underacting kinda bothered me as well. The geeky kid kinda got on my nerves. I get it that he's smart but he doesn't have to be a geek. I sure am not. The thing with his transformation is also kinda dumb, it's like " Chicks will dig you if you change your appearence even if you look like a guy straight from breakfast club..." and when he did download the concerts to become cool he didn't even listen to them to see if it was real? wtf?!. His bullies are probably the worst actors in the film, they can't even pretend to be laughing....-.-' The only good child actor in this movie is the 4 year old. It says alot about the movie when the best actor is a FUCKING FIVE YEAR OLD, doesn't it? You might be thinking "why is she such a good actor?". Well, my friend, it is because she acts like a fucking four year old like she's supposed to and thereas is the most believable.
The villains are okay. I think Antosha (Magnús Scheving) is good but with the right accent he would have been amazing, Tatiana was hot, found the thirteen year old's 2"crush" to be amusing but other than them they're just dull and forgettable and then casting George Lopez...o.O Well, that sure was something.
Billy Ray Cyrus is also in this movie. He plays..well, Billy Ray Cyrus. He's jsut there to be country and spout out terribly redneck sayings like "It's like trying to scratch your ear with your elbow" and honestly, I was waiting the whole movie for him to break into song!
There were some scenes I like, like the blonde joke Magnús makes, the "I thought he'd be better dressed" moment and the "they take copyright way too seriously" one and Jackie's english is hilarious in a good way... especially when he's trying to be serious.
The bonding scenes are on the other hand kinda forced and some of the child actors are very stiff and underact, Magnús' accent was really, really bad and some plot holes kinda surprized me, like when the villains go after Jackie, they don't bring any guns, well everyone except Tatiana and when the boy didn'T even listen to the file after he downloads it from Jackie's computer. then of course it is the ruined joke. You might think I was putting to much on it but, seriously, it could've been so awesome but it failed :(
Overall I think this movie was okay, it could've been more but bad acting, plot holes and child orientation ruined it at birth.
I give it 5/10
Happy trails, 
-Íris

Athugasemdir

[Micsy (IP-tala skráð) 1.10.2011 kl. 23:08]

awesome review, i completely agree with you :)

[Íris Árnadóttir, 1.10.2011 kl. 23:11]

Thank you my lovely.
I just had to say this, it was almost painful not to!
Glad you liked the review, I was gonna put pictures in it, but I got lazy x)
thanks for reading :)

-Íris

[Lori (IP-tala skráð) 3.10.2011 kl. 00:04]

Brilliant review :D

[Íris Árnadóttir, 3.10.2011 kl. 00:09]

Why, thank you Lori :)